Hash Trash #???! 11-16-19

The Pinelake Hash House Harriers run in and around the metro area every Saturday at 2:30pm. Join them if you wake up too late to make it too Atlanta

Hash Trash #???! 11-16-19

Postby Ballerina » Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:58 am

An ancient and wise Hash Sage once explained to me the rules to Haring. To paraphrase Bitch With An Attitude (everyone lean in now): "the goal is to lead the Pack to the beer. The Hare(s) do this by making trail easy to follow; keeping the Pack together; only "fucking" them at checks, CBs, etc; and keeping trail at the appropriate length." Which he himself did quite well, whether he laid live or dead. And the big one: "Hares always lie".

Fresh Fish fresh from getting fucked on her own trail by way of losing her phone and wallet while laying trail, or in the Uber she rode in, or…, decided to share the love. She assured the Pack that the trail would be dry as a bone and that everyone would stay warm. That there was a bail out point halfway through for those like Just Lix Dix, who had brought her dog with her and didn't want to hike through shiggy.

"Go West!" she yelled, and so the Pack did, running straight into North Dekalb Mall. As Hounds milled about looking for trail marks, some decided to circle around the mall, others decided to run straight through and see what movie was playing inside. Which explained later why Shiggy Pitts and Little Willy were both able to give me an in-depth review of the film: Gone With The Hare. It was a little dry, to say the least. 5 minutes after Hare and Pack had left, Short Stump arrived and said he wanted only to run half of trail. So he ran out. And back. And around. And back. Said he couldn't find any trail marks. I pointed out where the bail out spot was theoretically, and off he went. Never saw him again afterwards.

Drove to the On-In which was at Medlock Park. Recent trails had the police visiting near the end of Circle and evicting us, so Fresh started mulling over our options just in case it happened again. First we'd try going to Surly Temples. If kicked out of there, Red Ball's, especially if he wasn't home. If that didn't work out, Spread Eagles former home. If not there, Little Willy's domicile. Fortunately Dekalb wasn't interested in us or never even knew we were there.

Always Cums First and Trader Dicks with his dog were the True Trail (TT) FRBs, Double Suck being TTFBI. Before they arrived, the "Cheatin'" Trail FRBs Shiggy and Willy, along with short cutter Spread got in. Spread, having lived nearby and familiar with the area already knew where the On-In must be. JLD arrived about the same time in her car, having bailed at the halfway point.

Can Ya Touch My Booty robot marched into the On-In with the stiffest legs I have ever seen. So frozen it had turned his lower legs white. As more Hounds arrived I noticed water marks on various leggings, shorts, and pants, some up to the knee. Wasn't trail supposed to be dry. I guess Hares do lie, as almost the last mile of trail was a creek that ran from the Mall area to the park. Only Double seemed comfortable being wet, standing in bare feet on the pavilion's concrete pad till it was time to leave. She is the meanest!

The remainder of the Hounds arrived: Oops I Crapped In My Pants, Best Boy, Awburned Out, Black Pipes Matter, Dain Bramage, Free Cum Loader, Half Monkey, and Pissticide. Clusterfuck car Hashed in from the Start, apparently preferring to shop at CVS all the time the Pack was out. Never knew CVS was all that exciting. Debbie Does Digits breathlessly staggered in, avoiding being DFL by a hair, the honor going to Fill My Cavity.

Circle was long, thanks to the devious machinations of Double. Who all that time remained in her bare feet, while Booty stood freezing in his warm clothing. A Black Sheep style mini-trail trial was held, the overall opinion being that it was the best Wheelhopper style laid trail the Pack had ever been on. And they thought it was great, too. It definitely kept the Pack together. Double asked Fresh why she never came to her wet trails, but then laid one of her own. And speaking of truths and lies, roughly half the Pack, all being experienced Hashers, were Rule 6d for actually believing the Hare when she said trail would be dry.

For Booty, this was his first Pine Lake. Willy enjoyed a Birthday down-down. Dain enjoyed one as well for being song challenged and Fill for misnomering during Circle. Shiggy for his 16th Analversary with Low Fur.

Dick's dog was named Two Dicks. First he decided to take a vacation from Dick for two days before returning home. Second, his tail was tucked between his legs alongside his dick while he was in Circle, making it seem like he had two.

Special mention: On The Rag, who appeared at the Start to promote the Bandi Half Marathon on Thanksgiving Day.
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