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Half-Bandit XI: 3-19-2017
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Author:  O.T.R. [ Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Half-Bandit XI: 3-19-2017

Half Bandit Eleven: The Requisite Trash.

With stops for a dead drop at DipStick’s and once around Ye Olde Fourthe Warde, OTR pulled the Half-Buick up to the Bandit Start 0715-ish. Offering donut holes and black coffee to Officer Friendly and R@cist Volunteers thereabouts, Half-OTR turned to gearing up and collecting Bandits! for the Eleventh Running of the Half-Bandit.

Attentive readers will recall that HOTR was the Only Lonely Bandit for the HB-9 last March 2016 and then OTR plus DribsB4Shots were the Entire Complement for HB-X Thanksgiving 2016. Such that in provisioning for XI, HOTR deliberately laid in a modest trove of swill: 6 of Red Brick IPA, 12 of Fat Tire, a baker’s dozen of PBRs for the R@cists, plus donuts. Turns out, the first six-pack was all we needed!

Only. Lonely. Again. Some presidents of the US might even say: SAD!

But such presidents would be STRAIGHT UP LIARS! ‘Cuz HOTR had a Blast!

Watching the 7-minute paceR@cists coming by, HOTR locked of the H-Buick and struck up the Beltline on Decisive Clever Short-Cut No.1 and began dreaming up new Epithets, Insults and Imprecations to decry the CONCRETE… that which lays waste to all elderly hasher-knees, when… Miracles of Miracles! they’ve laid in a cedar-bark-alongside the EastBelt! and now I have to take back all the nasty things I’ve been saying. Apparently we can Make the Beltline Great Again, or at least a little better. That did put H-O in a good mood as he motored nicely over Ralph glancing up at the R@cists on the Freedom Parkway. While HOTR would have discussed Real Estate with anyone who cared to, the topic just never came up.

Quiz here: what Hasher reccy’d the very first ING/ATL Spring Marathon (2009?, the inaugural one? the one they ran out of water on an 80-degree day?). It was BodyGlide. Not sure if he was a hasher then, but you can ask him. BTW: he takes no responsibility for the boneheads running out of water; you can blame him for the Festival of Hills thru Miles 20-21.

Soon enough, we’re at Dipless-Dips! We’ve heard the lad is participating in a pre-dawn vertical insertion in XXXXXXXXXXXXXX, but that’s strictly CLASSIFIED. HOTR busted open some PBRs and poured half-cups for the R@cists, who generally weren’t interested in the slightly breezy 40-degrees as the rising sun beat down on Park Street.

But guess what a bit of RU’ing will get you in the wrong crowd? Right, a lot of hard stares from the passersby and Officers Friendly, plus R@cists Hashers like TokenEze from parts West, who stopped and had a green beer, and just had I sent him off happy back with the R@cists, my very next R-U? produces Vaginologist. Since the green beers had to be arranged in the backyard, who knows what other Hashers Who Should Have Known Better might have passed in the interim? Might be nice to have additional Bandits around for such times, no?

What next? Since the R@cists are sticking with sobriety and no Bandits are demanding to stay at Dip’s, HOTR and VO straighten the joint a bit and then jump into the melee of footy R@cists. By use of additional clever short-cuts in the Piedmont and over the Peactree crest, HOTR managed to ambush the VO a couple more times but he declined offers of my mobile beer stop and then he ditched me somewhere by Tech. No DJ, no Dance Party, but still fun! Passing the Bobby Dodd Pitch, lauding AUFC’s 6 points from first 3 games, HOTR started a chant:
Atlanta!/
United!/
Will only Seldom be/
Defeated!

Can I complain about how damn near Everybody r#ns with EarBuds now? Can we engage no parts of Life without Electronic Mediation? Aren’t we at all curious maybe to hear the Car with the Texting Driver about to Splatter US? Guess not.

Where does this get us but the END, BigBore-less, but in a pinch graciously hosted by neighbor Just Jamie. And turns out she has r#n several Tris and Halfs and Fulls – including BodyGlide’s notorious first mentioned above -- so we’ll count her an Honorary. Plus she was a sweetheart and buzzed HOTR into the parking so he could pee on Bore’s Michelins. Sunny, but still a good bit of breeze made HOTR seek a wind break to get back onto his second Fat Tire for the day, and cheer in the FRB Fullies Male and Female, helpfully pointing out to the finishing Halfies that at this point they had been “lapped” but that they shouldn’t feel bad, ‘cuz it’s all about losing weight right?

Realizing that even leaving time to retrieve the stash at Dip’s, he still might catch some portion of the Tottenham v. Southampton on Telemundo, HOTR declared “Best. Half-Bandit. Ever!”, a hug, kiss and centrifigual, etc. Half-OTR joggered thru the R@cist END, fare-jumped an Empty ATL Streetcar and scampered back to the MLK Center and the waiting Half-Buick and on-on home. (TOTS 2 – SOU 1)

Which bring us to Next?

Half-Bandit XII, Thanksgiving morning, 0715, Thursday, 23 November 2017.

But really folks, feels like we’re pushing string here. I know my marketing efforts are charming, quaint and inept (free Beer!), but really, maybe the product is just defective: maybe running and drinking in the ungodly AM is just a 4 July thing? Could that be true? Is the Half-Bandit too sui-generis for its own good? Is it Elitist? Should OTR just keep his private manias more… private?

Or maybe Reverse Psychology.

All Right! Listen up Wankers! Anybody what shows up 7:15 am, Thursday 11-23-2017 at George Street and MLK Drive (right by Oakland Cem and King Marta), maybe they’re gonna get a punch in the nose? Maybe any extra Bandits show up, Half-OTR will declare it a NAKED Hash on the spot. Maybe we’ll have a Beer Stop at BigBore’s. Maybe we’ll just torch the joint? Got that? Mobile Beer Stops? Maybe we demand Beer from the R@cists!!!! Maybe just stay the f@ck away! I dare ya!

On-On. Losers!

Author:  Too Limp Clover [ Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Half-Bandit XI: 3-19-2017

This is the most awesome sounding hash event that I have never been too.

Alas, I'll be out of town again.

I just want to be there so that I can make it into the epic write-ups.

Can I buy another 1/2-Bandit t-shirt like a loser? You know, to go with all my Iron Man triathlon shirts?

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